Tuesday, October 26th, 2004

Time: 12:06 am. Mood: artistic. Music: Peter Gabriel - Salisbury Hill.

a lot has happened in the past cpl of days. The play im currently in at the JET just got 4 stars from the freepress. I was just offered a full ride to UFD Mercy from the head of the drama department there on an acting scholarship. I had an audition at the JET today for The Brighton Beach Memoirs, i tried out for the lead and made the call back, its looking promising, but i dont want to get my hopes up. on top of hiawatha (Hiawatha), rappaport (Gilley), 12th night(Sebastian), and poe(poe) (these are the plays im currently in and the roles im playing, if u didnt know). i was just cast in the dearborn family theatre's The Sound Of Music, where ill be playing the role of the guy whose sings, " you are 16 going on 17...blah blah blah". Itll be cool to go back to my roots (Mary Bremmer and all the DYT kids. right now im totally rocking out to peter gabriel and in a minute ill be tapping my feet to a little bit of meatloaf...eff ya. Gaea's last Stand watching dead things die pretty as summer fades and autumn sets fualtering, fluttering, fleeing like a heart shedding it's regrets a chilled atmosphere bloodied as shards of crimson find there rest there last position preordained like virgin tears, a landscape blessed by Ryan Metcalf

11 + aren't worth the waste of the salt or the water

Subject: Rock the fuck, biatch! Time: 10:35 am. Mood: sick. Music: The Used - Let It Burn.

Nostalgia kills the best of us, thats all I have to say. Yesterday was the big one nine, spent most of it at rehearsal on in west bloomfield. Afterwards i went out to roseville and chung out with the crew. I finally got to see luigi, and his sexy new teeth, seems like years since i humped his face... On a side note, larry bought me a clown with a banjo for my B-Day...What a fucker. for those who dont no, I fucking hate clowns, expecially the ones with banjos and my name written across their foreheads in felt tip pen. I started playing piano. I think everyone will see where this is going sooner or later, so i wont touch on it much now. and on a final note, i woke up with a sore fucking throat this morning. Ya, it sucks harder than TJ and trust me thats hard to beat. Off to class then kalamazoo tonight, Ryan P.S. Can someone change my LJ, its too fucking depressing.

6 + aren't worth the waste of the salt or the water

Subject: The End of an Era... Time: 11:50 am. Mood: contemplative.

The way I imagined this entry being read would be some what reminiscent of the final episode of the wonder years... I spent the greater part of my adolescence fighting things, disproving things, hating things. The status quo was my mortal enemy, and we danced a grim macabre throughout the duration of my youth. I grew up with the notion that if its not in front of you, it doesn't exist. I found solace in music. It allowed for my voice to be heard on issues that I felt strongest for, politics, religion...life. Not many people realize this, but "Cover Me" was my battle over the notion of god, and was my journey out of atheism and into agnosticism. "As I Fall" was the O' so epic situation between my father and myself. Pretty much all the rest of Second Priority's earlier stuff were my political stand points at the moment. When I finally made my way into As Dawn Falls, I felt my intellectual Renaissance had ended. I was continually rehashing my old self to better music and a new crowd. If you've ever wondered why I never posted any lyrics, heres the answer, I was embarrassed. The lack of originality was killing me, constantly re opening old spent wounds to construct half assed songs. The harder the songs got, the more I felt I had to use the word "heart" or "bleed, which thoroughly aggravated the situation further. I am Jack's boiling contempt. When I realized my own faults as a writer I started to feel the unduanting disgust for the conformity of others. I wanted no more to have anything to do with what was essentially making me dumber. The black t-shirts, the Japanese tourists, hot topic narcissists. I wanted out, and I found it in an old friend, acting. Not many people know this, but I gave up a semi-professional life as an actor so I would have free time for the band. Now it seemed as though I was doing just the opposite. How do you tell your brother your the malignant tumor slowly creeping up his leg? Ignorance is bliss, but it'll also kill you. I made the decision yesterday morning to lop myself off at the knee. How do you throw your driving force for the past 3 years away? Guys, I love you, I cant see myself holding you back from whatever big plans you have down the road. Our separate paths will cross again, I know this for sure... Ryan's New Life for Dummies: I am Christian I will be attending college in the fall (either Wayne state or henry ford) for theatre and a minor in film writing I am soon to be Puck in Midsummer Nights Dream this summer (for the second time) I am still single I do not drink, I only smoke cigars (sparingly folks, sparingly) I moved into my new house in west Dearborn I have a new car (a dodge stratus) I listen to Dean Martin religiously I am happy. These are from the head shots I had taken this week for my acting resume, this will be the only time you will see me post pictures of myself. Until we meet again, Jack's fleeting sense of resignation

33 + aren't worth the waste of the salt or the water

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